Raw

I feel raw. Not bad, not good just raw. Nothing new as far as feeling but I thought I'd post a picture of raw and just say it. Raw happens when for good or bad you have to defend your position over and over. It starts usually over bigger things and then amplifies over little things that will make it stink even worse. I back into my parking spot and the wind chime bitch has a year old grudge over my disapproval of her man made noise stuck in a tree in this wind swept place. She sneers at me and I sneer back but soon I'm gonna ask her whats up. But I won't let my raw comments creep into other things that I could easily attack her with just because I'm feeling raw. Even though I'm raw I'll still order a California Roll instead of real raw. I would just like to define it as being in a state where your filter isn't quite there but you're also not aggressive. Fuck the tulips and bring the sushi.

lunch in early march

Today as I went to work it was dark and raining. In the 10 mins it takes to get to work it was snowing and by 11:30 the roads were dry and it was sunny. So I headed out with J-Mo and Big Jon. A few pics taken from my old failing camera. It put the effects on these pics all by itself.

few more pics here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/srussel459/2009LunchRideMarch3#

Jeremy Lusk

I was talking with Jeff earlier in the week about stunts and such and I mentioned how I couldn't believe none of the freestyle guys had been killed yet. That sport is extreme. Today at work another friend texted that Jeremy Lusk missed a trick and was killed. Now I don't know a thing about this guy but it got me thinking about fleeting life. I would imagine the guy lived it well for a 24 year old. Peace to him and his family.
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Fleeting life spit out of me in 2 minutes...so here it is... People always say live each day like it's your last but who can do that. Can you ride your bicycle the same way for 100 miles as you could for 1 mile. I think not. So the question lies in balance.
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Fleeting Life
@@@@@@
fleeting..life
going going gone
fleeting life
back flip ..slightly not
suicide bomber
restaurant
fleeting life
never knowing
when, how, why
learn the rules and then
you go
finish the puzzle and it finishes you
fleeting life
never knowing
run, eat and hide
disease
may just find
fleeting life
how much do you live
and how much do u save
nobody knows
nobody knows

World Eraser

A few months ago Brian and I were emailing back and forth about ideas for Helen's birthday. We kicked around Vegas and I thought, 'Come to Carson' and just that quick he got tickets for a long weekend here. So it was done. I picked them up late Thursday night and off to the Silver Legacy we went. As always the 1st night tends to run way into the next day and this was no exception. Helen fell out sometime in the middle of the night but Brian and I kept on going. He could do no wrong gambling. Roulette was the game of choice and Helen's bday was the 31'st so that ended up being the number of choice and boy did it win. I was even able to hit it a few times. B/H are die hard Steeler fans and wouldn't you know we ended at a table full of Cardinal fans. After some friendly trash talking Brian started a new plan. Put 100 bucks on the 3rd 12.(2 to 1 odds). He lost the 1st one to the Cardinal fans delight but not to worry. He spited them with the same bet and won and continued to win 4 more times while I was losing much smaller bets. We stumbled out of there and proceeded to search for food. It can be very confusing to navigate casinos that are connected when you've been drinking Newcastle and shots of Grand Marnier for 8 hours. After asking for directions a few times we made it back to the room with our shitty sandwiches. The casinos are not like they used to be in that at 6am they are completely dead and food is rare. After inhaling our shitty sandwiches Brian fell out and I stayed up for a bit talking to Helen. The kind of deep one sided talking that only occurs when 1 person is wound up drunk and the other is sober and has just been awakened. After a few hours sleep and room service we headed to the lake. We found some rocks in Sand Harbor to climb on and just played out in the sun for an hour. We hadn't gambled in at least 7 hours so it was time for some South Tahoe action. Nothing happening there so over Kingsbury Grade and back to CC for some pizza and rest. Saturday saw some hiking out behind the apt. I had to show them my hills. My training and thinking ground where I solve all the worlds problems...alone...Later they turned me on to IN @ Out burgers which were really good and since we were in south Carson I had to show them the Casino Fandango(my favorite place). At the CF I introduced them to Margo who is also my favorite bartender and we tried our hand at my old staple...Caveman Keno ...no luck and it was back to Roulette in which Brian proceeded to win again as I continued to lose. After the very 1st nite I commented how his wallet wouldn't close and mine was as skinny as a room key. We had reservations for Super Bowl Sunday at the new Tuscany Towers at the Peppermill. We checked in Sunday and found the casino to be filled with drunk folks. Not just drunk folks but drunk folks wound up on sports adrenaline. Since our room was so nice we watched the thing there in peace and quite. Afterwards we ventured down into the mayhem and found a nice quite bar or so it seemed. Shortly after we got comfortable a group of drunks came in. I kept hearing this dude saying really loud, 'uncle Brett...show me your guns'..over and over and over again.... and 30 minutes later I found myself telling one of them to get outta my space. He had dreamed up something to do with Helen not liking his buddy(uncle Brett ..with the guns)...shewwweee... Both Brian and I thought it best to leave so down to the casino floor we went where it wasn't too bad. In 20 minutes I won back all the money I had lost over the previous days and we even ran into Margo and her mom gambling in the same area. I have a picture of my wallet next to his and it was no longer a room key. So I'd like to thank the drunk guy that kept yelling, 'Show me your guns uncle Brett'...no less than 100 times. If not for that...who knows....So it was a successful, 'World Eraser' weekend as both Helen and Brian needed some downtime as they both have ailing parents and over they years they've helped me in time of need and in times of no need. They liked this area so much they will be back fo sho.....I know I'm lucky to be here but when my friends visit and are astounded by the beauty of the mountains and the debauchery factor it makes me feel even that much better. I think a smokey casino balances out the beautiful mountains perfectly.

http://picasaweb.google.com/srussel459/BrianhelensVisitJan2009?authkey=uOVgb1lAxbE#

Mom's Birthday

Today my mom would have been 77 years old. She lived to be a lot older than she thought she was going to. Most of her family died much younger so I suppose when that's the case you kinda get it in your head that you're on borrowed time. Although her body wasn't entirely done her brain was tired of this world. I hope she watched me carry some rocks up my hill today in a state of remembrance. I wrote her initials in the sand at one point. Most times I also throw a rock at something like a pole or tree in remembrance of my dad as he was a baseball player in his younger years. It's my way of saying hello to them wherever they are.

and a good quote to go with all this.....Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
- Cullen Hightower

Lindsey Buckingham's Poem

The world was calling you away
and your leaving was just your way
of staying with what you'd come to say
This pain is the poem slowly written
torn from the book
and cast into a corner of the attic
where no one could look
This rage for all to see
caught fire and burned all around me
till their was nothing left to burn
Now I stand alone in these attic walls
and reread that poem all yellowed with age
Tears heal such as healing is
so I cast that page into the flame
And there is no blame, only shades of regret
And those too will fade
as the world calls me away.

I never know how much of what I say is true. - Bette Midler

But this ride actually happened. Wide open spaces and the wild horse in the rear was excited to see us.

http://picasaweb.google.com/srussel459/IronMountainJan2009MtnBike#
http://nowherenevada.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=123&Itemid=1

Christmas 2008

Wow...who knew I would have such a good Christmas. Leslie came out the week before and flew home on xmas day and Ellie came out the day after. Much debauchery and laughter. I had a hangover so bad on Christmas that I told Les my core atoms were damaged....but that comes with the silliness and sickness that is in the Russel bloodlines. I showed Leslie lake Tahoe in the snow and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She said, 'pictures don't do this place justice.' but we'll keep trying. We gambled some and for the 1st time I can remember Leslie had real casina luck. I walked away from her at 1 point and she had won $500 bucks at the Carson Nugget. We were playing together so money was divided and my portion mostly went back. Little sis mostly had my camera and was very sneaky in taking videos. A few links will be provided at the silliness. Only those who know us will laugh but only 3 people read this thing so you 3 will enjoy. Ellie arrived and it was straight to the Atlantis for food and slots. We also won together and my portion also went south. (I had recently been on a good winning streak. Trips to BOA to deposit money) After more relaxation and some days off work here and there her trip was coming to and end. We got to see Albert up in Sparks and I was just telling the 2 of them how my winning streak had come to and end and I hit the button with the bottom of my Corona and won 1840 bucks!. Even had to fill out the IRS winnings form. So it was back to Carson City to pick up a new bicycle which had just come in that day. I'm still getting adjusted to lack of laughter in my apt and work but its been warm the past few days and I should be able to take the new cycle out tomorrow for its 1st real ride. I can only hope next year will be as much fun.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_Rqdr5lS3k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lICbeYInNh8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9A8AZ8i8lE