What is life and what does it mean? Is it just doing time to get to the next step? Is it raising a family? Is it becoming rich? Could probably be all of the above. I'll be 48 this year and I haven't a clue. So much of it seems like such nonsense. When does something effect you so much that it effects you for a few days? I think my lack of spirituality is hurting me at this point in my existence but I'm sticking to my guns.
So many good books. Pick one. Even one and your divided 20 ways. I've listened to arguments at work over which is the real good book as if these morons would have a f'ing clue. So I'm not going the good book route. Never will. Mark these words for any who are around to see my last breath. Bend over as far as you can and stick that book sideways in your ass! No, I'm not angry at you but I am angry at what I see.
Just to give a little weight to how I feel, it's been a tough winter for me. No, I haven't been in battle or been burned over 90 percent of my body. Isn't it all relative? I started the winter doing something many have done...deciding when a living creatures life should end. One that is so unjudging and loving. Deciding when he should take his last breath. I did it and think it was correct but I will never forget. Sometimes I drive by the place and lose it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a pussy. Exactly 1 month ago my next door cubical neighbor decided he'd had enough. From what little details I know about it, he put some instructions out about what to do with his ashes and then he drove off to a secluded place and shot himself. A seemingly healthy 62 year old male with a wife and thriving son.
I sat as his service and watched his loved ones pour their souls out at losing this man. I remember walking out and telling my boss. 'Mary, Holy Fuck that was intesnse' and it was. No preachers. Just family and friends speaking of a loved one who could take no more.
Watch the news and you will see nothing but Wall Street swindlers and a Government who is so fucked up they will turn simple things into something so complicated. Our Govt. couldn't run a lemonade stand anywhere in America without issues. I will not go any further with this but the 2 people who read this know I work for the State Govt which is mainly controlled by the Feds. If you only knew how complicated they made it just to pay folks an extra year 1/2 you might feel my frustration.
If you've made it this far you're probably wondering where I'm going. I don't know. As of late I'm unable to find beauty in things. I know it will come back but for now the wheel that turns my life is untrue...It has hit a flat spot. I'm not suicidal but excuse me if I seem indifferent.
And for all you good bookers. Watch the history channel about now on any given night. You might be shocked to find there is debate to everything that's ever been written about your little Green Eggs and Gods Ham.......Sorry if I have a hard time with you trying to climb the afterlife ladder while your still on this one. It's sickening enough at work let alone......you get the idea.
Over and out...
ps....I'd just like to add if you're one of the f-nuts who think 1 side is superior to the other and feel enraged about politics....maybe its time to change the process. Big money controls everything and if you wanna argue Sarah Palin, go for it but you're wasting your time. The fucking process has to change. Repeat after me...The process has to change. Fuck your right and left. Maybe that will fit in your ass with the good book.
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16 comments:
Never, ever, vote for the candidate with money again. Revolution and house cleaning is the only way.
Religion has been around for thousands of years, and it's not going anywhere. Getting angry at it is futile. People who have made up their minds likely won't change. Might as well get upset with trees growing.
I maintain my sanity and get pleasure from trying to live outside the system as much as possible. Vote with your spending dollars. Ride a bike instead of drive. Grow some of your own food. It's not a lot, but it makes me feel like I'm sticking it to the man. I've also found that by doing these things, a lot of beauty returned to my world.
not getting mad at times certainly won't help people become more tolerant and open minded. Just last night on the news the Catholics still struggle with hiding their pedophiles. So to Jeff, you know me and know I'm not angry 24/7 but at times it happens and I'm sure will continue to happen. Just remember who is usually the happiest one on our rides to balance out these thoughts that sound angrier than they really are....Writing and speaking in person are 2 very different things even if every word I speak rings true to me it sounds entirely more harsh when read...and I really don't care to be honest. You're mad at cars at times and I'm mad at other things. A spout of angry thought sure makes the happy feel that much better.
I like turtles...
Mr Brock,
You would have loved me today(turtle) on the lunch ride. All life force was gone. Every inch was a struggle but I finished the fucking thing....And J-mo got a good picture to boot....
I miss you guys!
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/03/18/ireland.abuse.fallout/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn
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I believe, I believe, save my soul mr God...save my soul that you created in the 1st place. I just love it when I create something and everything in between needs to be saved in order to enjoy it...what a party! Please save my soul mr God because I can't think with the brain you gave me. Evidently the feeling of wrong/right that lives in my brain isn't enough. I need to profess love of someone I know nothing about. I know nothing about you, the people who wrote about you or your so called savior. Ohhhh, please save me from your so called hell....Pleaseeeee!
oh please mr god, please please please save me! Scott, you are a hoot. I love it when you talk this way. Please write a book of this stuff. :-)
thanks for giving me some smiles on this dark sad day of mine.
priceless news headline! read all about it..get your copy while they last....
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Pope says 'sorry' for Irish church abuse
It's true, I get angry at the car-centric lifestyle sometimes, but I try to focus that reactive energy into something positive...the bicycle advocacy. For example, there are some bicycle haters out there, but they don't do much to further their cause. Conversely, I can go lobby for bike lanes, and get the city to spend the haters tax dollars on bicycle infrastructure. Now that's pretty slick.
Here's one you might like, Pope Forgives Molested Children.
Bicycle advocacy and Religion are 2 very different animals. I see no possible way to widen the lanes of true religious freedom by any forms of govt. It's already been done..Seperation of church and state yet we're still a lot of hate filled mf'ers. Would love to start seeing people in govt. profess that they're simply spiritual and that they haven't a clue about heaven and hell...See how far they get. Not very....Apples and oranges my friend...
Not so much. Cars are as much a religion in America as anything. People worship them. They race them, shine them, build monuments to them, write songs about them. People are willing to go into debt hardship for them. Resource wars are being fought in the Middle East to gain control of the fuel for cars. For many people, a car defines who they are. Maybe even more so than your regular religions.
Religion doesn't really affect me. I don't agree with most of it, it's full of hypocrisy, but if I ignore it, I don't even really notice it. It's not worth my energy.
Ha ha...two J. Witnesses just came to my door. They gave me this brochure with a horrible picture on the back...Jesus with a crown of thorns...and told me how beautiful it was. Our conversation was brief.
Holy Heck Jeff...send em up to me!
The bottom line is nothing for the most part except for extreme repression will bother you if you ignore it. I'm not bothered by cars. I think the economy and people like you will further the muscle powered cause which is great and a good effort on your part. Since moving here from Maryland, traffic is almost non existent to me. And I'm a guy who loves my Subaru.
This is why I call the Sunday rides "Church". Some choose to go to a man made structure and worship their God. I choose to enjoy what I've been given...
Scott I feel you on this post. I can't mention the word government without throwing up a little in my mouth. Been thinking about you lately. Hope to see you sometime soon. When our paths cross again I look forward to cold beer and just enjoying quality time with one of the realist people I know.
I agree with Brent! He has Riding church which I like, then I have the church of Football. Mine is only 8 months a year, but it works. Its all relative to what you want to indulge in and find relief in.
Rodeo, lets get together on those J-ho witnesses, that would be fun!!
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