Thursday, July 30, 2009
Work Poop
Now this story doesn't rank all that high as far as poop goes...But today I had the worst experience with having to hold the shit within the boundaries of my colon. I wasn't able to ride at lunch so I went for a quick Whopper. My co-worker was desperately trying to explain something that I would have to finish as this Whopper was making its way thru my system. I sat there wondering if I should apologize for my stomach making noises or just ignore it. There was a 5 minute stretch of road that I wasn't sure I could make. I was listening and concentrating on what she was saying AND how not to shit myself. To make a short story long I didn't make the entire turnover session without leaving for the toilet. I was about 1 colon foot short of completion before I had to run. It got so bad I actually eased out of the chair and put all my weight on 1 arm as I squeezed my sphinker ...prison tight.....During the raising out of the chair I came to my senses and realized I needed to go no matter how long it might prolong my coworker having to stay....So I went and then a little later Buckwheat Zydeco came on the radio with a Led Zeppelin song, 'When the Levee Breaks' ...and my world was right again. And poor Donna has no idea I almost shit myself in her cubicle but the rest of my co-workers do because I love a good poop story.
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6 comments:
Dude I almost crap myself just driving by a Burger King. I'm sure whoppers are to blame for a many a skid mark.
What's interesting is you keep eating there. Are you beginning to see a cause and effect here?
I don't eat there much and I was in a jam. I'd say when I go for longer periods of not eating them it's worse. I'm able to actually eat these things succesfully 80 percent of the time.
Stacey and I refer to them as sliders. And the the after effect as a download. I found this story extremely funny. Probably because I am able to relate with countless similar situations of my own. And I was able to visual the whole thing and you are sitting there with bubble gut, a bead of sweat forming on your upper lip, the uneasy squirming as you start to shift around trying to find the perfect position to ease some of the pressure on your sphincter.
The download speed was T1'ish at least.
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